Never Trust a Hippie Bumper Sticker

8.5” x 2.4” of pure, paranoid poetry for your bumper, water bottle, laptop, or bunker wall.

Sure, they offered you good vibes, incense, and questionable trail mix. But deep down? You knew. You knew.

This matte, waterproof sticker is your stylish reminder that trust is earned, tie-dye is suspicious, and everyone’s got an agenda—including Greg from the drum circle.

Whether you're jaded, joking, or just really into cryptic life advice, this sticker’s got your back. Just don’t turn yours.

🕵️♂️ Matte finish for that low-key distrustful aesthetic
💧 Waterproof – won’t wash away, unlike your faith in humanity
📏 8.5" x 2.4" – big enough to raise eyebrows, small enough to dodge accountability

Stick it where the sun don’t shine (like your laptop lid or bumper). Trust no one. Especially not people with acoustic guitars and “a vision.”